Category: Let's talk
Ok, so the title doesn't "really say it all", & yet, it does. Lol.
I'm going to be moving with a friend to NJ either mid-late summer. Things are tight here now, I help my parents cover bills, so I'm by no means rich, & I thought getting away from them (thereby freeing up a bit more money) was the answer.
However, I'm getttting to worry that moving to NJ "on my own" so to speak may not be "it" either, because while I want to be free, there's more to it then that.
I want to go & do, be able to do things like go to concerts, volunteer, or bowling if I want.
But I also want to do "more" then that. If I were to decide I wanted to do something drastic, like fly to Myrtle Beach for two weeks, I wouldn't want anything holding me back. But I'm a people person, not a loner, so I'd want to find someone to go with.
I guess my problem, is that I've been held back for too long. A small town girl with no resources taking off to conquer the world! Lol. Only thing is, how exactly will I conquer it? If the Comission there is like the comission here, if the cards are stacked against me from the start, what do I do to offset that feeling, whether real or imagined? & where do I find that person who wants what I want, to just fly by the seat of their pants once in a while. I'm not talking "all the time". I plan on going to college (at some point, probably soon, stupid college! Lol). I want a job & a family, job probably in public speaking & as an author. . . But just every once in a while, I want to know that I've got someone with me who wants to be spontaneous & just go!, without thinking of it much. You know, like one of my teacher/friends who went backpacking around Europe once, or another one who went & studied abroad & helped kids.
Anyway, I think I'm just rambling, but nonetheless, if anyone can give me some perspective, or their thoughts on this, I'd really appreciate it.
Well, there are a few things to consider here. It seems to me you're really just asking for a good sighted friend. One of the biggest things I've had to sacrifice as a blind person is being spontaneous. It's very hard to go somewhere unassisted unless you've planed the bus routes, taxi services are bad somewhere (although they might be much better around NYC than in the south), you can't really just amble along and run into a random restaurant or bar or what have you, you have to know where you're going and plan how to get there and back home in advance, and this really holds true whether you're going downtown or across the country.
It seems you'd need to find a friend who is sighted, preferably (there are some blind people who are amazingly independent, I claim to be prety decent in cane and public transportation use but I know people who are way better and more independent than me so some blindies can certainly do the trick better, yet there's no matching a sighted person, especially in a country that is so car centric). If you're not going for school or a job you'd have to figure out where and how you can meet new people be it online (Craigslist has friends boards as well as various hobby centric ones, something that might be worth a try) or in real life, if ou're into church you may want to find one and start there, or at a given society or charity organization, basically put yourself out there (and solve related transportation problems) to meet new people, else you obviously won't make friends.
Also I should warn you, just from personal experience, that you may save less money living on your own than you might think. There's rent, there's electricity, which runs you $80 to $160 I'd say, based on size of apartment and such, there's internet which will be addl $50, then possibly phone, tv and, somehow, random bills that just stack up, food, going places, taxi and/or public transportation bills etc. I'd be surprised if you got away with less than $1000 a month and if all you have, income wise, is SSI I don't see how it could possibly save you money over what you have, but you know your finances best of course, but do expect things to be a bit more expensive than you planned for.
Also make sure you're pretty good friends and you can solve things like who cooks, who gets the food, if you're both blind, how to go to the grocery store and where and with who (if you need sighted guide).
I'm not saying you shouldn't do it but don't expect it to be easy. I got my dozage of being spontaneous by visiting friends in other cities around the country or in Europe, that way I got to travel, stay somewhere for free, and do new things in new places. I was lucky in that I got to know people in college that lived all over the country so I often visited cities like Detroit, SF, LA and even went with some friends to Vegas.
Best ofluck
-B
Well, I'm already going with a friend as I said, but the difference is, I'm not sure how to word this without being insulting, because she's a member here. . .
She's sighted, & she is definitely going for school purposes among other things. However, I can't souly depend on her, because she also wants a life of her own. So it's like we're going together, & we'll help each other out when we absolutely need it, but she still wants to have her own separate life, a life separate from mine. So that's why I need more friends.
& that's what I'm getting at right there. What "organizations"? What other resources are there besides the comission? What else is there? Others need to speak up if they know of something, because she & I are at a loss.
Nevermind that even though I'm blind, I also have a facil appearance that is different, so it's even harder to make friends. I've had people tell me that initially I freaked them out, but that after they talked to me, they were glad they'd done so. So that's where all these thoughts are coming from. I already know it won't be easy though, life isn't easy. Lol.
I thank you for you're perspective on things!
Wildebrew, I'm totally blind, and have not had a hard time being spontaneous. Hell, I've had some great times, as well as made some major mistakes, due to that spontenaity. And, you don't need sighted friends to be spontaneous. I have both blind and sighted friends, and have done crazy things with both. Hmmm, that sounds wrong, but oh well.
Anyway, michelle, I'm not sure if you're looking for specifically blind or sighted friends, but you're asking about ideas, so here goes. As far as blind folks, there are both of the consumer organizations. You could get involved with your state and local affiliate of either one of those. There are places of worship, if you're into that kind of thing. There are groups for just about any interest. www.meetup.com is a good place to find those in your area. You can sort by topic or location.
Hope that helps a bit.
Thank you SisterDawn, appreciate it!